Archive for March, 2012

About Our Daughter Nadia

Sunday, March 11th, 2012


Hello everyone,

Today I’d like to talk to you about issues concerning our missing daughter Nadia that may have caused confusion to many who knew her either in passing or who may have spent some time with her.  As you know, Nadia was adopted from Russia almost 20 years ago.  At the time we didn’t know of the trauma and neglect she suffered during her life there.  Over the years and after seeing numerous doctors and therapists we learned Nadia suffered abhorent conditions in Russia including severe and continuous abuse and neglect.  We eventually learned she had brain dysfunction, memory and emotional issues, and more.  Taken collectively Nadia dealt with many overlapping issues simultaneously but was not considered disabled.  Shy as a child, she eventually learned to become more outgoing and to make people feel at ease with her.  She was determined to be as independent as possible, dreaming of a career as a chef.  However, traumatizing childhood experiences continued to plague her throughout adulthood.  I’d like to take a moment and speak briefly about some of them.

Nadia had difficulty with confabulation and lying, a characteristic of yet another disorder she came to us with from Russia.  She lied often but she didn’t necessarily know she was doing it and much of it eventually became habitual.  She made up and/or changed stories to help fill in the voids of her life in an attempt to make her Russian upbringing seem more socially acceptable and also as a strategy to survive in a world she viewed as threatening.

Nadia was extremely impressionable and vulnerable to suggestion from others as well.  Many times, with enough repetition, those suggestive thoughts became the truth to her, confusing her world even more.  Nadia spoke a lot about maddening abuse and neglect, subjects she was personally familiar with given her horrific life in Russia.   Many people have talked about her in terms of being painfully truthful for she was very convincing.  In an attempt to solicit assistance and empathy she began to tell stories blurring the edges of what happened in Russia and her life in America. Her dearest friends who have known her for many years and understand her limitations know how terribly confused Nadia was during her stay in Alabama. My apologies if her stories mislead anyone.  Nadia could not and did not understand possible ramifications or long term effects of fabricating events and factititious storytelling.

In terms of her relationships with men, she moved quickly from one to another thereby avoiding her fear of commitment.  I can only imagine how this may have caused jealously among her male partners.  I’d like for you to understand Nadia could not comprehend cause and effect relationships and so could not connect how her uninhibited and many times impulsive actions could lead to hurtful feelings on behalf of someone else.  She just didn’t have that capability.  I’m so sorry if her actions caused anyone heartache.  There was no malicious intent on her behalf.

Nadia strived to be the best mother she could be to her infant son.  She desperately looked for Mr Right in her life although she knew she could not commit to a lifetime relationship.  She did all she could to “fit in and be normal” (as she would say).  She loved life and was devoted to her baby son.  In terms of her relationship with God she believed she was “saved” and did all she knew given her capabilities to follow the Lord’s word.

We’re thankful for those of you who have read this through. We hope you’ll go away with a clearer understanding and appreciation of who our daughter Nadia was. She was a very confused, gentle soul who wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone. We want you to know she did everything she knew to make a better life for herself and her son. We miss them both terribly.

Just prior to Nadia’s disappearance, we had not seen Nadia for a couple of years as we were stationed overseas in Guam and our respective military positions did not allow much flexibility for travel back to the mainland of the US.  We did fly back to see family members who were terminally ill.  One of them, my brother in-law, passed away while we were in Guam.

While in Guam we sent Nadia money and gifts and we talked numerous times each month.  Things seemed to be going well for her.  Nadia was afraid of long flights so we agreed to wait until we returned to the mainland to get together.  We moved back to the mainland and were unpacking our household goods shipment when we received the call (three days after she disappeared and her son already given away) that Nadia had been reported missing.  We had just received a phone call from her the day before she disappeared.  She was expected home in three weeks with the baby…a much anticipated reunion for all of us.  But as you all know that didn’t happen.

Please if anyone has any information regarding her whereabouts or if you have any information about what may have happened to her, please contact us through this website.  Your comments will be kept confidential.

We continue to have grave concerns about our grandson (Nadia’s son) who is not home with his family.  Nadia would go mad knowing this.  We are extremely worried about him.  If anyone has any information about his status, please, please contact us through this website.  Again, your comments will be kept confidential.  Thank you all who have already responded.  Your comments and information will help build a better future for him.

Thank you all kindly.  We’re so grateful for your suppport.

Our love and God’s blessings to you all!

In Christ,